Smiles go a Long Way

It's funny to think...
A month ago I was thinking so differently.

With a certain situation, I finally got the guts up to talk.
To do something about it.

Now I'm just...stepping back.

And yet, despite...
I'm happy.
I mean...sure, there are things on my mind.
I'm starting to get the feeling that that web will never go away.

But now...I'm smiling.
I'm recognizing how great my friends are, not just believing it.
I'm truely seeing it at last.

Even one of my friends...
I never expected her to be any more than entertainment.
She's so thick-skulled, angry, argumentative...
and now she's still the same person, but I see her differently.

I'm seeing alot of things differently.

It's beautiful, really.

It's funny how rapidly things change. How one thing can be so easy until another element is thrown in. How you can be so happy and so upset at the same time.

Knot in my throat, grasp on my heart. What to do?

I know, then I don't. I don't but I do.

Help?

Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining.

How many times have I felt the same way? Right now, as a matter of fact. It seems no matter how many times I pray for something, it all remains the same. Patience is so hard to hold on to at this point. Faith threatens to slip and the next question remains: what now?

As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"

Still He remains. He's always with us, as the classic "Footprints" poem also reminds us. He's talking to us, but it sounds as a mere whisper when we put the storm first in our mind. Everything drowns it out. That's not how it should be. I wish I could hear His voice more clearly.

God is always with us, whether we realize it or not. We always expect some big entrance, a booming voice...and yet that's not what God is all about.

He's here, and yet we're still waiting for him to come.

And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am, and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm.

Still I pray that I stay strong through the storm, pushing away all thoughts of abandonment or lonliness. That I may always remember that God is with me, He'll support me and He knows. He knows what's good, what's to happen, why it's happened...

As much as it hurts, I will put my complete trust and faith in Him, as I should have done this whole time. While I'd pray, I never gave my whole self. Well...here I am.

I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.